aka “Big Sword”
While overly large, this giant-sized blade is made from a space-age metal material that makes it light as a pineapple allowing for quick swings of devastating power.
|.DRGN-2 Rocket Launcher
aka “The Boomer”
It may be heavy, it may be tricky to reload and it may be inaccurate, but for all its shortcomings the Rocket Launcher will destroy anything on contact. Eye protection should be worn at all times.
aka “The Sizzler”
At its core the Flare Gun is exactly that, a life saving flare gun. But when placed in the hands of a killer, its life saving abilities are transformed into death dealing fire projectiles from hell.
|.ICE-X Integrated Coolant Effect Weapon
aka “The Chiller”
Technology that was initially used at hockey rinks has been re-purposed into a near deadly weapon. While it is sure to bring enemies to a super slow crawl, you’ll need another weapon to finish the job.
|.LARR-3 Light Accelerated Radiated Railgun
aka “The Zapper”
A military weapon that never made it onto the battlefield due to concerns over its safety and long charge period, the L.A.R.R. Gun fires a concentrated hydrogen-forced laser beam that explodes carbon lifeforms into specs of nothing.
|.M-Zero Assault Rifle
aka “Bullet Hose”
A fully automatic weapon that fires off large capacity magazines, the Assault Rifle has the ability to chop down foes at their knees or, with a bit more precision aim, at their ankles.
aka “Slice ‘N Dice”
Comprised of three feet of platinum and the finest leather gripping material, this sword will slice and dice without ever the need for sharpening. It’s very fashionable as well.
|.MGL-R Multishot Grenade Launcher
aka “The Thumper”
When extreme blasts of extreme power are needed, the Grenade Launcher is there to help. Encased inside are dozens of spherical detonation devices that are perfect for most any explosive spamming application.
|.Model 187 Pump Action Shotgun
No weapon arsenal should be without a Shotgun and this pump action “Shotty” fills that void. It’s destructive at medium range and insanely deadly up close.
aka “Serious Meat Grinder”
This tiny gun shoots tiny bullets at a fast rate. Remember that ALL bullets hurt like the dickens no matter their size, so don’t scoff at the S.M.G.’s pint-sized power.
aka “The Pew Pew Gun”
This trusty old Pistol is a standard issued weapon that isn’t all that powerful by itself, but when fired in pairs, it packs a punch that’s sure to get attention.
aka “The Crisper”
Pumping out a unique mixture of Napalm B and Sauvignon Blanc, the Flamethrower will leave your enemies charred, rolling around and extremely dehydrated.
|.ZX Plasma Rifle
aka “The Zapper”
Powered by a 12.6 volt NiCad battery, this gun shoots pulsing electric orbs of energy that bounce off of most surfaces, but sears flesh on contact.
|.AK-47 That Fires Cats
aka “Kitty Cannon”
This is the one weapon that engineers have yet to figure out how it operates. Simply put, it’s an AK-47 that, instead of firing metal projectiles, launches out real, live and extremely ferocious cats at a rapid rate. Meow!
|.ATW-ATS Rainbow 2X
aka “Double Rainbow”
Utilizing rainbow technology discovered back during the Leprechaun Gold Hunt of the 1940s, the Rainbow 2X fires two, yes TWO rainbows out of its barrel putting anyone unfortunate enough to cross its multicolored path in a state of “stuck”. While its long-term effects aren’t known, short-term effects are instantly apparent as subjects chuckle uncontrollably and magically float in the air for a short period of time.
|.Blade of Tyr’ Az-Gul’r
aka “Hot Hands”
An ancient relic that dates back to the times of of the Tyr’ Az-Gul’r empire, this blade will slice, dice and set anything ablaze. Its magical flaming properties do not have any known source, which is why it is believed to be powered by dark magic.
aka “The Fireball”
Based off of the DRGN-2 Rocket Launcher, the BLZ-R houses unique rocket projectiles that explode into flames on contact. It’s great for sealing off entrances, searing flesh and cooking steaks to medium-well.
|.BZBZ Hive Weapon
aka “The Stinger”
Shoots live and highly agitated Africanized honey bees using compressed nitrogen. Best when used in sticky situations.
|.DN3-D Shrink Ray
aka “The Minimizer”
Millions of dollars of research went into creating the Shrink Ray and, for the most part, it was money well spent. Using a mixture of quantum physics, all natural molasses and a dash of gun powder, this weapon instantly shrinks all living lifeforms to 1/8th their normal size. Unfortunetly, the mini effect only lasts a few seconds with the only side-effect being a mild tingling sensation.
Look familiar? Well, it should, because the Golden Gun is a straight up knock-off of the weapon featured in the movie Face Off. Well, it’s almost identical, except for the fact that it’s a “budget weapon” made of 14 carat gold instead of the traditional 24.
aka “The Lightning Rod”
Inspired by technology seen in that star battle movie, the Light Sword cuts through any material while soldering at the same time. Note too that this weapon doubles as a flashlight and a really fun bug zapper.
aka “The Needler”
This rubber band propelled weapon fires hundreds of hypodermic syringes at a surprisingly quick rate. Each syringe is filled with exactly 2ccs of rat poison that is sure to gives infectees a case of “the sickness”.
aka “Ooo Zee”
Uzi. Fun to say and deadly to shoot. It’s a weapon that compliments other explosive offerings, giving wielders the advantage of shooting casings at a “holy crap!” rate.